To the Bitter End
by Miaowing Kat
Summary: Bulma's had enough with Vegeta. Feelings.


A small piece of feelings when Bulma decides she can't put up with Vegeta any more. Set at time just before androids, before Trunks, so timing is slightly awkward. Her POV. 

To the bitter end.

'Stupid woman! Why can't you just ever leave me alone! Why must you persist in pestering me over such foolish feelings?'

Rain falls hard with bitter words. 

I hate not getting my own way, but I suppose I didn't know what I wanted in the first place.

-

Truth is, I can hardly stand you. Sometimes it's just so damn frustrating. I kid myself into thinking I'm okay with you just running off by yourself all the time. Not telling me, as if you don't trust me. I'm just some woman to you, why should you bother letting me know? I'm just so unimportant, why the hell do you care? Maybe I can't be trusted with your great secrets. I'll open up but you can just keep closed. Curled up in a ball of defiance, away from the world. You can hear all my secrets, but I'll just be contented with scraps and hints. 

So fly away Vegeta. Leave me here, I'll just wait for my Prince to return… 

But I don't like being left alone… 

-

'Why don't you just shut your babbling mouth for one second?'

Ooh… that stung. 

Arguments. I fall asleep sometimes. They're just too tiresome. 

Sometimes I put up a fight, but it's useless to try. No one ever wins. We just end up distancing ourselves. Stony silences linger at night. 

-

I dwell on a small clutch of memories. Dreams are great painkillers.

My mind hides in a calm sea with no air to penetrate. 

I always smile when I think about when you were away from the eyes of everyone else, where you didn't need to prove yourself to anyone. You almost dropped your mask. Took off your gloves. For a while you let yourself be vulnerable. 

Couldn't believe how gentle you are. I forgot life.

Neither of us spoke a word. I closed my eyes, immersed myself. Felt your hands running through me. Locked lips would never let go…

-

You found your mask I see… 

'Stop staring at me woman!' 

All I can do I sigh. Androids. Who gives a damn? Obviously everyone but me. Chi Chi always complains of how her Gohan and Goku are never there, training up some damn mountain. How Goku isn't responsible enough and now that they are training all the time, Gohan will never study and get good grades and become a great scholar. One day I just slammed the phone down after listening to minutes of her incessant jabbering and squeaking. She didn't call back.

It's not like Vegeta is training for some threat by an unknown evil anyway. Sure, he wants to make sure he doesn't get killed, but it all comes back to that unhealthy motivation. Goku. The obsessed idiot. He'll never do it. Goku's the best. That's cruel I know, and who knows, perhaps I'm wrong. Sometimes I hope that I am wrong, so that Vegeta can finally feel his sense of achievement, the full restoration of pride that he so desires. But only when I'm in a generous mood.

He'll kill himself one day. And it will be for absolutely nothing. I often feel like I just want to rip that stupid gravity room right off this earth and make him see that there are other things in life besides training. But whenever he breaks it, I'm always there to fix it… 

'What are you training so hard for? So hard it hurts?'

'To wipe that stupid grin off Kakkarot's face. To pummel him into the dust. Only then can I fulfil my destiny and become the strongest.'

Once I would have laughed it off. But I feel like picking a fight. And I feel daring. 

'You'll never beat him Vegeta.'

'He'll always be stronger than you. You're fighting a lost cause.' I taunt him, my bitter mouth spitting with potent venom. 

'I could kill you in an instant.' He whispers, forming a ki ball in his palm.

'Don't you dare threaten me Vegeta.' 

He just humphs. 

'I'll do whatever I please.'

-

We're drifting apart, day by day. You don't even seem to care…

We were never really close. Not a couple. But now we seem to be stumbling over the line of tolerance for each other. Even little things set me off, surely a bad sign. 

Yesterday after that fight we had – The one where the vase ended up on the floor in pieces and a smoking hole through the wall – I decided to go to bed early. I was still seething and ended up squirting the toothpaste all over the damn mirror. That was when I just cracked and started to cry. 

I stayed in that bathroom for over two hours, sitting helplessly on the cold floor with a tube of toothpaste in my shaking hand. I don't cry. I shouldn't have to. 

So maybe it's for the best. What's the point in torturing each other? I'm tired of arguing. Maybe I'm glad I've decided to do this. 

I search myself for confirmation, but find nothing. How can it be that absolutely no part of me wants you to leave? My voice is hoarse from shouting but all I want to do is wrap my arms around your chest and fall asleep with you by my side.

Argh, how can you still make me feel this way?! I hate the way you treat me. I hate you!

-

'Vegeta?'

'What?' He says - annoyance in his voice. He's still training.

'I, uh… have to tell you…'

'Spit it out woman.'

'I have to tell you… that… I don't think I can… take you anymore.'

-

You didn't understand at first. I wasn't sure if I had said it or not. I'll never forget that puzzled look you gave me. You truly had no idea what I was on about. And neither did I.

Somehow I blurted out that I just couldn't take another day of you and that… I didn't want to see you again.

-

So here we are. I should be glad. Glad that I'll never have to subject myself to this ever again. This grinding that wears me down little by little till I can stand no more. And still it keeps overwhelming my soul. 

You're smiling.

'I wondered when you'd tire of me.'

'Don't put it like that Vegeta.'

'But that's how it is.'

You're still smiling. Are you proud of yourself or something? 

'And now I have to say goodbye.' I whisper, my heart heavy. 

'What's the point? You'll still be fixing the GT room.'

Well Vegeta, still keeping emotions hidden. To the bitter end. But I know they're there.

'Fine. I just thought our relationship meant something.' I say, feeling my anger starting to rise.

'And what would make you think that?'

God, you're still smirking at me. Why must you be so difficult! This is hard enough as it is.

'Fine, it meant nothing to you if that's the way you want it, but it meant something to me. And so -'

Stupid Vegeta. Just leave me alone.

'Thank you. Thank you for giving me a great time.'

-

You toss my words over your shoulder. Keep them. You might find you'll want them some day.

I can't believe you agreed to leave. You don't know how grateful I am. And how sad I will be.

'Where will you be going?'

'It doesn't concern you. Close by.'

I nod my head. It's comforting, knowing you'll be there, even if only somewhere. You do care.

-

I swallow hard as you fly away from me. 

Then that clammy feeling comes over. Have I just thrown you away?

Am I making the biggest mistake of my life? Maybe if…

'Wait! Don't go yet!' I hear myself shout into the night. You stop and turn to look at me, and return back to the ground. You stare at me with crossed arms, a deep scowl piercing my shining eyes.

'What is it?' you snap at me. It's kinda hard for you too huh?

'Did you love me?'

Time is frozen. We're just two people, standing outside of life, a snapshot of a memory that will soon be lost forever.

I start to panic. Then I sense you falter, your scowl flicker. But you quickly pick it up again. 

'Of course not woman. What made you think I could love anyone?'

You smirk cruelly. I blink hard. I can feel my eyes sting with strain.

Stupid Vegeta. I know you're lying. I can see it clear as day. You have small cracks in that mask of yours. I'm slowly learning. You think true warriors aren't capable, won't sink to love. Your foolish pride. I hate you for it. I hate you so much… But I don't want to live without you.

'I love you too.' I say sincerely. 

-

Your face softens slightly and you let your arms fall to your side. I feel like crying as I wrap my arms around you and rest my head on your shoulder. You stay silent and draw me close.

'You know I love you so much.' I blurt out, trying to make you stay. I take it all back. 

'I don't hate you. I really don't hate you.'

Please don't leave…

You stroke my hair as my eyes start to water.

'I know.'

You release me and I use my arm to rub my aching eyes. I promised myself for you. I know how you hate it. I rub them with my sleeve and wipe a stray tear away. 

The world comes back into focus and I suddenly realise you're gone.

Stupid Vegeta…

Stupid me.

- FIN -

Uhm… Sorry about the inaccuracies with the timing, but I really didn't want Trunks to be in there, 'cause then I would feel as if they needed to be together, which was really not the point of this fic at all. I know it drifts a little sometimes, but it's all part of the learning process. I promise I'm getting better. Apart from that, hope it was okay, please review.


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